


Facing the Sun

by arasol



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kaito has PTSD, Maki and Kaito love each other a lot, Maki has PTSD, Maki says fuck, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shuichi and Kaede and Miu are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 17:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22466992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arasol/pseuds/arasol
Summary: Kaito told her that what happened to him wasn’t as bad as what happened to some of the others. Kaito told her that she had it worse than he did. He told her that he was one of the lucky ones. Lucky. What would he know about that? She remembered him collapsing. She remembered his lungs rattling when he breathed, like a desperate attempt to shake the sickness out of him. She remembered him dying. She tried to ground herself again, but convincing reality to seep back into her was harder this time. If Kaito had it lucky, why was she so scared, even now? Why did having to watch him die take first place on the list of terrible things she had seen in her life? It wasn’t lucky. It wasn’t the easy way out. It was cruel, and unjust, something that she couldn’t justify or explain. It was senseless. It was traumatic.-Kaito is showing PTSD symptoms after leaving the killing game, and Maki can't help but worry.
Relationships: Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito
Comments: 15
Kudos: 65





	Facing the Sun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Maki herself](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Maki+herself).



> Since I won't be around to post this on her actual birthday, happy early birthday to Maki Roll! You deserve to be safe and happy with your boyfriend.

Maki had always been familiar with nightmares. Back at her orphanage, she would often find herself surrounded by them. Late at night, and long after all of her friends were in bed, she would sometimes make her way into the nursery to rock frightened and tired babies back to sleep. No one ever asked her to, but sleep got away from her more times than not, and she liked to at least feel as though her insomnia was helping someone. Maki would watch the sun rise from the rocking chair in the nursery and wonder if anyone ever comforted her after bad dreams when  _ she _ was a baby.

Nights in the bedroom she shared with the older kids were rarely any different. Maki was used to her friends having nightmares in the beds next to hers. Orphanages were just breeding grounds for that sort of thing; at night, in their sleep, there was nothing to distract them from scary thoughts, and there was nothing to protect them from the pain they were able to fight off during the day. That’s why Maki never minded taking care of the babies late at night too much. Taking care of people who were too young to refuse it and watching the sun come up always seemed better than what her friends were putting themselves through.

She lost the strength to fight sleep after she started training to become an assassin. It was for the best, she thought, because the more time she spent asleep, the less free time she had to hate herself. Maki hated  _ everything _ about herself; she hated the dried blood that she could never clean out from under her nails, and she hated seeing someone in the mirror who made a child just like her another orphan, and she hated her protective heart. She hated the heart that made her stay awake at night to take care of babies. She hated the heart that made her volunteer for this life so no one she cared for had to do it.

But sleep was never easy. Images of violence- both violence she had experienced in training and violence she knew she would commit herself one day- flashed hot and red in her mind all night long. No matter how exhausted she felt, and no matter how badly her hurt and broken body needed to heal, she could never sleep through the night. She never got anywhere  _ close _ to sleeping through the night. And this time, there was no one she could take care of to distract her from the pain she was in. Maki was alone. 

At first, Maki didn’t feel any hurry to get out of the killing game. For the first time in her life, she had good food- it was never expired, or moldy, or  _ maybe _ poisoned-, and she was allowed to eat until she felt full. She had a warm bed that wasn’t full of bugs, or stained in her own blood. Outside of the walls that were imprisoning her peers, there was a life waiting for her that was full of pain and orders and suicide missions. As the people around her died one by one for a chance to escape the only place she had felt safe in, Maki was content. She was okay with keeping her old life waiting. But that complacency didn’t last.

Maki had her first nightmare of the killing game on the night where she realized they all had to make it out. It was the night that the protective heart she tried so hard to kill all those years ago came back, and was racing in her chest. It was the night she realized that she was never a stone-cold monster; she was a girl falling in love with someone who was sick and dying where he stood. Maki was an assassin, and the amount of blood Kaito coughed that night after Gonta’s execution was enough to make  _ her _ stomach drop. She walked him back to his room in silence afterwards because she had to make sure he didn’t collapse again on his way there. When they got to his door, she wanted to  _ beg _ him to let her inside, to find a clean shirt for him, to rub his scalp until he wasn’t scared or in pain anymore, and to be there with him during the night to make sure he didn’t choke on his own blood in his sleep. But Maki couldn’t find the words that would convince someone as stubborn and stupid as he was to let her help him.

So instead, she just let him close his door, and waited a few moments to make sure she didn’t hear the noise of him falling again. It was just a handful of days ago, it was Kaito at  _ her _ door, knocking incessantly to encourage her to come outside and spend time with him. Kaito was always so happy and excited to see her once she inevitably gave up and opened her door for him. His eyes were used to be so shiny and full of life and nowhere near as tired as they were now. What the  _ fuck _ happened since then? Every step she took towards her own dorm and away from his felt like a mistake. Her bed felt empty that night. She just wanted to be with him.

In Maki’s dreams that night, she couldn’t save him. She watched Kaito die in front of her.

-

Maki and Kaito moved in together right after the killing game. All of the participants of Danganronpa’s 53rd season were offered a lot of money to say good and encouraging things to the press about their times in the game, and most of them took it. Even the most strong-willed of the bunch, the ones with the strongest moral compasses, found themselves a bit too broken after waking up from the simulation to wage any wars against the TV show that killed all but three of them. Enough money to live comfortably for the rest of their lives was acceptable retribution. They also offered complementary therapy sessions to the participants, and Maki was one of the ones who took it. Kaito wasn’t.

Team Danganronpa was more helpful than Maki ever expected for them to be. On top of their financial compensation, the participants of the latest season were offered free lodging in a fancy and overall pleasant apartment complex in Tokyo. She and Kaito decided to take the opportunity, just until they found somewhere better to live. He often spoke of a nice house, out in the country, where they could stargaze and throw small parties for their friends. But for the time being, she was happy where she was. Although she’d have a hard time admitting it, Maki loved living so close to the other two survivors. Himiko came over to their apartment frequently, with baked goods and trinkets she had made with Tenko and Angie. Shuichi and Kaede picked their friendship up exactly where it ended so violently just a couple months ago, and Maki, Kaito, and Shuichi found themselves at Kaede’s apartment almost every night for dinner. Most of the time, Miu was there; Kaede was teaching her life skills, and how to act in social situations, and having her make dinner for her new friends and then play board games with them without breaking the pieces out of anger when things went wrong was good practice. Maki knew Kaito was checking in with Shuichi, and his well-being; Shuichi told her as much. She had a hunch that Kaito was treating Kaede, and probably even Miu, the same way. Every time Maki came back from therapy, he would ask her how she was feeling. Every time Maki tried to check up on Kaito, he’d find his way out of the question. 

Maki gave Kaito control over decorating their apartment, and for the most part, she enjoyed the childish touches he added. It looked nothing like the house a former assassin would live in. It was gentle, and kind, and warm, like the kind of home she imagined families living in. She came home from grocery shopping one day and found him perched awkwardly on a chair, taping glow-in-the-dark stars to their bedroom ceiling. Around them, on bookcases and shelves and dresser tops, were model rockets and Lego sets and paint-by-numbers kits. Kaito told her that he liked to keep his hands busy during the day. He wasn’t ready yet to go back to his training program, but swore that he would be _soon,_ he just wanted more time. And when they got a proper home in the country, he told her, they were going to start a garden together. There just wasn’t enough space here to plant anything worthwhile, but he confidently told her that she’d like it. She would like keeping her hands busy.

Maki desperately wanted to hold onto Kaito every chance she got. When they reunited for the first time after the killing game, she sat down on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, latching onto him so tightly that no force on Earth could move her. Maki cried into his shoulder and tried her best to focus on nothing but the sound of his heartbeat, the sound that she knew failed him once before. She never wanted to let him go. She had no idea how much time had passed. One minute? Three hours? Whatever it was, it wasn’t enough. More than anything, she wanted him to hold her all the time. (The only thing that her time in the orphanage and her time as an assassin had in common was that she had nobody to hold her.)

Maki and Kaito had agreed on keeping their bedroom cold for sleeping. Cold rooms made nightmares worse, and more frequent, but it didn’t matter. Maki would be having nightmares no matter what. Sleeping in a hot room was gross and uncomfortable. Kaito was able to fill the silences before bed by talking about things he wanted to show her, dishes he wanted to teach her how to cook, board games he wanted to pick up for the next time when they went over to Kaede’s. Maki would talk to him about his ideas, until she got too tired to keep listening and fell asleep under the glowing stars taped to their ceiling. She wondered if Kaito told her about the things he planned for them to do together the next day so she would have something nice to think about before she fell asleep. He never let her fall asleep without promises of a better tomorrow.

Maki had never known peace like she did the first night they spent in their apartment. She had woken up at the movement next to her, even though it was gentle and no cause for alarm. Beside her, Kaito was still asleep, and had moved closer to her for warmth. The fan was on full blast, and the room was colder than it felt the night before; his usually warm hand felt like ice on her forearm. Without planning to, he had nestled his face into the nape of her neck, and Maki could hear him quietly breathing, shallow and at peace. Kaito’s arm draped around her abdomen; although he was fast asleep, Maki was grateful for the decision he made to pull her in as close as physically possible. Her heart was pounding so loudly that she was afraid it was going to wake him up. Orphans don’t get held at night. Assassins don’t deserve happily-ever-afters. But the man who was comfortably asleep right next to her was living proof that sometimes, seemingly impossible things could happen. Maki let her body relax; no one was coming to hurt her anymore, and no one was coming to take Kaito away from her again. Before closing her eyes, she checked the clock on their dresser- it was about 3:30am. She still had a few hours left to pretend like this moment would last forever.

It wasn’t too many days after that when Maki started to notice strange things happening with Kaito. He began holding onto her tighter than he did on the first few nights, tighter than she could justify not worrying about. Like he thought someone was going to pull him away. He reminded her of a scared child holding onto a teddy bear after a scary movie. Most nights, she would wake up to Kaito next to her, fast asleep, but shaking. Maki would wrap her arms around him and pull their purple comforter in close so he could be warmer. It never seemed to help. Sometimes, when he was sleeping next to her, Maki would feel Kaito rubbing his ribs, or his chest, like he was trying to get a sore muscle to stop hurting. All she could do was rest her hand near wherever his were. She didn’t want him to be hurting anymore. She wanted the pain they all had to go through to finally have an ending. 

She knew what it was like to have nightmares. Maki spent her whole life surrounded by them.

“Do you want to go see Kaede, Maki Roll?” Kaito asked her one night. “I can see if Shuichi is still awake, too, and we can all hang out together.”

Maki sleepily turned to face him. “Kaito… it’s almost one in the morning. I can’t see Kaede _nor_ Shuichi being awake this late.” Her brows furrowed in confusion. “Why?”

“Why what?” he asked.

“Why do you want to go see them again? At one in the morning? We were just at Kaede’s house today for lunch.”

“I… don’t know,” he said, sounding quieter than he always did. “I guess I’m just not ready to go to sleep yet.” 

Right as Maki was finally able to find the words to ask him if he was okay, he interrupted her. “Oh! Maki Roll! I bought you knitting stuff today.”

Maki’s heart skipped a beat, and in spite of her wishes, she could feel her face turning hot red. “Really?”

“Haha, yeah!” he confirmed, walking somewhat dramatically to the couch, chest puffed out with pride, to pick up a shopping bag resting on the cushion. Maki hadn’t noticed it previously. “You told me that you wanted to start knitting! And when I was out today looking for some books on gardening, I got distracted by the yarn. I think I spent close to 30 minutes just looking at the colors.”

Maki opened up the bag and was greeted by a somewhat unbalanced rainbow. He really went all out when buying spools of yarn- there had to have been close to twenty in there, and close to half of them were varying shades of purple. He can be so annoying. Dork. The rest had more variety. Greens, like the plants he decorated the apartment with. Yellows, like the sunlight on days where they’d sit outside on the balcony and eat peanut butter and jellies. White, like the moon, and the constellations he would point out to her.

He was so thoughtful. Always thinking about anyone but himself.

-

Maki just wanted Kaito to admit to her that he needed some help after the killing game. He didn’t tell her until close to a week after they moved in together that his parents were killed in a car accident when he was nine. For someone who encouraged Maki to open up about her feelings every time he got the opportunity to, Kaito really liked keeping his secrets.

“Are you sure… you don’t want to see a therapist?” Maki asked him one morning. Kaito crawled out of bed before the sun even came up and started rustling around in the kitchen. When Maki joined him in the dining, a full breakfast was prepared. So much time and effort went into it. It was like nothing she had ever seen from him before.

“No way, Maki Roll,” Kaito said confidently. “Why would you even ask?” When his eyes met Maki, she could see a layer of fear behind them.

“I… don’t know.” Her voice was quiet and frail. She didn’t know where to _begin_. Maki didn’t re-watch their season of Danganronpa, but had heard plenty about it. Kaito was very sick. He spent the whole time in a lot of pain. He was kidnapped and locked up in a bathroom for days by someone who they believed at the time to be the mastermind. He fought, hard. And then, despite all his efforts, he died. He was _murdered_ , by Tsumugi, by someone he cared about. But she didn’t want to say this to him. She was too scared to remind him, like he would break if she did. _If_ someone like _Kaito_ could break at all.

“I’m just… worried,” Maki said after a moment passed them by. “I… know you don’t like talking about yourself, or the way you’re feeling. And I didn’t either, not before I met you.” Maki’s voice caught in her throat and her eyes turned away from Kaito. A horrible wave of fear was cutting through her.

Kaito dying was the hardest thing she ever had to go through. It agonized her to think about, no matter how briefly the thought was entertained for. Every time she thought about how happy Kaito had made her, she would have to fight creeping anxiety of the memory of watching him  _ die _ , and it ached. It felt like a nightmare that she couldn’t force herself awake from. Like the most cruel, senseless, and unfair act of violence she ever had to bear witness to. Just thinking about it sent her heart rate  _ racing _ .

There, at their own kitchen table, in their own house that they lived in together, as she tried to tell him she was worried about him, she could feel Kaito fading away, being erased,  _ dying _ in front of her again. The room around her, in the apartment she and Kaito called home, ceased to exist, becoming distorted until it almost felt like the trial room that he was voted the blackened in. She could remember it like it was yesterday. It was months ago, but it might as well have been yesterday.

She started doing the grounding exercise her therapist taught her just a few weeks ago.  _ Breathe in, slowly and deeply, and count off all the things that you can smell. _ She could smell the hot sauce on the scrambled eggs, and the tanginess of the fresh fruit, and the sweetness of the pancakes, and the warmth of the green tea in her cup. And Kaito’s cheap cologne from the night before. There was no blood. No metal. No adrenaline. A purple candle was burning on the table. Lavender.

“I was so unhappy before I met you,” she finally managed to get out, feeling the color slowly fade back into her world. Only a matter of seconds had gone by. Her vision unblurred, and her mouth went back to tasting like her tea instead of bitter bile. She looked up, and still, Kaito sat at the table across from her, alive, and seemingly well. He stuck out his hand, and she took it. It was warm, and much larger than her own, and he squeezed it tightly, and didn’t let go. She wondered if Kaito could feel her hand shake. “And I think you should go talk to a therapist. So you can be happy, too.”

Kaito’s eyes finally met hers; they were a beautiful shade of purple, and as intensely kind as always, but tired. And a bit glassy.

“Maki Roll, I’m totally fine.” His smile was warm, and smaller than usual. “What happened to me in the killing game wasn’t easy, sure… but  _ you _ were there until the bitter end, y’know? You had to watch a lot of bad things happen to a lot of good people. I’m one of the lucky ones. I got out on my own terms. It could have been so much worse for me, but it wasn’t.”

He stood up and pushed in his chair. It squeaked along the linoleum.

“Did you eat?” Maki asked, looking at the plate that was placed in front of where he was sitting. It was empty, and clean.

“I’ll eat later!” he announced cheerily from their bedroom. The sound of their closet door opening and the awkward thumping of coat hangers against the wall suggested that he was looking for clean clothes. “I’m not as hungry as I thought I was going to be.”

An overwhelming silence overtook the apartment. Maki didn’t have the drive to stand up; the anxiety that flooded her body left her feeling exhausted. He was such an idiot. A stupid, selfless _idiot_. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he wouldn’t even listen to her. He was such an idiot and Maki didn’t know why he says and does such stupid things.

Kaito told her that what happened to him wasn’t as bad as what happened to some of the others. Kaito told her that she had it worse than he did. He told her that he was one of the lucky ones.  _ Lucky _ . What would he know about that? She remembered him collapsing. She remembered his lungs rattling when he breathed, like a desperate attempt to shake the sickness out of him. She remembered him dying. She tried to ground herself again, but convincing reality to seep back into her was harder this time. If Kaito had it lucky, why was she so scared, even now? Why did having to watch him die take first place on the list of terrible things she had seen in her life? It wasn’t lucky. It wasn’t the easy way out. It was cruel, and unjust, something that she couldn’t justify or explain. It was senseless. It was traumatic.

In the other room, Kaito was whistling an old jazz tune like nothing had hurt her, or him, or _them_. Maki wondered what he would say to her if the roles were reversed. There was nothing Kaito was better at than convincing broken people they were deserving of the help that they needed. Maki didn’t know how to do that. She wished that she could be more like him. She wished that she could save the people she loved. She had never been able to.

-

Maki awoke that night to a cold bed, and her stomach sank to her feet. Violently, and still only half awake, she began to grasp at the empty space next to her in bed, trying to feel for any residual warmth, or a slipper, or any kind of tangible  _ proof _ that Kaito was ever there at all.

_ No. No, he didn’t come back. Oh my god. It was all a dream. Kaito was never here living with me. He died. I watched him die and I’m here alone. I’m alone I’m alone I’m- _

Maki snapped back to her senses- she heard some rustling from the living room, and from underneath the door, she could see the blue glow of a television. She checked the clock on the dresser. It was 4:28am.

Maki grabbed their galaxy print throw-blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders before leaving their bedroom. She felt silly, like she was wearing a cape, but the house was colder than ever tonight.

Kaito sat on the living room floor. The small lamp on the end table was turned on, as was the TV. There was a documentary playing, seemingly about planets, or maybe just Mars. He had pushed the coffee table out of his way, pushed it back towards the wall, so he had more space to sit on the floor and work on a puzzle. It was 4:30 in the morning and Maki’s boyfriend was putting together a puzzle.

“Wouldn’t it be better to do a puzzle with more lighting than this?” Maki asked. Kaito jumped a foot into the air.

“Maki Roll! I didn’t hear you come in!” He rested his right hand over his heart. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

Maki wanted to say, “ _ I could say the same thing to you _ ,” but bit her tongue. She didn’t say anything at all. She just glared at him.

“What’s  _ that _ face for, Maki Roll?” Kaito said, eyes wide with mild panic, and maybe a bit of shame.

“… It’s a milk puzzle,” he finally said. “So there’s no color, or image to reveal, just shapes to put together.”

“Why?” Maki asked. She wasn’t sure what question she wanted answered.

“It’s something we used to do in astronaut training.” His voice shook a bit. “They’re something I got into the habit of putting together, whenever I’m feeling anxious.”

The anger Maki was previously feeling melted away; it became concern, and relief, and the overwhelming need to make sure Kaito was  _ safe _ . “Are you… feeling anxious now?” she asked.

Kaito didn’t look at her. For a minute, he just worked on his puzzle some more. He figured out one piece. And then another.

“A little bit, yeah…” he finally said. His voice was tired, and he stopped playing with puzzle pieces and let his hands rest on his thighs. “I’m sorry, if I woke you up.”

Maki walked over to where he was sitting, and then sat down beside him. She took his hand in hers. “I was scared. I was worried something bad happened to you.”

Most of the time, Maki knew that Kaito would have laughed off the idea of anything bad happening to him. Tonight, he was quiet.

“You know…” Maki started, rubbing the top of his hand with her thumb. “If I told you that I was scared, or anxious, or sad, would you think any less of me?”

“Of course not!” Kaito said, almost defensively, like that suggestion betrayed everything Kaito knew to be  _ right _ in the world. “Why in the world would I? Those are normal human feelings-“

“So why do you treat yourself so differently?”

“Huh?”

“It isn’t  _ fair _ , Kaito,” Maki said, overcome with relief that she finally had a chance to get this through his thick skull. “What happened to you in the game wasn’t fair. And the way that you’re acting like it was  _ nothing _ also _ isn’t fair _ .”

Kaito didn’t respond.

“I’m worried about you. And no one gets to take that away from me.” Maki’s voice was bitter, and almost  _ proud _ . “That’s how I feel, and it’s my  _ right _ to feel it. It was you who taught me that. You taught me that the way I feel, the things I want… they have as much meaning and value as everyone else’s feelings and wants.” Maki tightened the grip on his hand. “So why the  _ fuck _ is the man who taught me all of this acting like he’s an exception?”

“What?” Kaito asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.

“Why do you act like your pain, and your suffering-“ Maki’s voice hitched and she kept talking. “- and your  _ death _ don’t matter?-”

“Maki Roll, listen-“

“I’m not done,” she interrupted. “Kaito, I know what trauma looks like on people. I’ve spent my whole life with orphans and assassins. I can see the signs all over you. You keep asking JAXA for more time off before you start training again. Being an astronaut is your life’s purpose and your biggest passion. How the hell am I supposed to believe that you  _ avoiding _ space is anything but a huge red flag?”

Kaito let go of her hand, and instead pulled her onto his lap for a tight hug. She kept talking through it. “You’re tired and shaky all the time. And you’re having nightmares, aren’t you?”

Kaito let a long moment of deafening silence pass before responding. “They’re… real bad, yeah,” he confessed. He let out a heavy sigh. “Some nights, Maki Roll, I’ll wake up, and you being in bed next to me is the only thing that reminds me that I’m not in the killing game still.” 

Maki draped her arms around his neck, and he kept talking. She knew the feeling.

“It’s hard, going to bed. Knowing that whenever I close my eyes, I’ll be dreaming about being sick again. Or dreaming about the grief I felt when I realized I wasn’t going to have a ‘rest of my life’ to spend with you and Shuichi. It’s a lot to deal with.” Kaito’s voice hitched. “I’m sorry for making you worry about all of this stuff. You have your own things you need help working through.”

Maki tried to pull him in even closer, but she couldn’t. “If it was me, or Shuichi, or literally  _ anyone _ else, you would be reminding them they don’t have to deal with it alone. I don’t understand why whenever you need help from the people who love you, you refuse it.”

“I don’t want anyone to think they can’t rely on me. If they think that I’m weak, then who are they going to turn to when they need someone to save them?”

“That’s ridiculous. I hope you know that,” Maki retorted, closing her eyes and relaxing against him.

“Yeah… maybe so.” He squeezed her a bit, and kissed her temple.

“And, for what it’s worth. I don’t think you’re weak. Just a coward.”

“That’s totally unfair! Using my own goddamn words against me-“

“So how much longer are you going to keep running?”

“What do you mean?” Kaito said. The playful anger from his previous statement was gone, and had been replaced with genuine curiosity.

“You have a way to fight this, don’t you?” Maki said, hoping that she was putting it in terms that he would understand. “You have so many people who love you, Shuichi, Kaede, and I, and even Miu- none of us want you to have to suffer anymore than you already have… So are you going to keep pushing us away? Or are you going to let us be there for you when you need some extra help? Can you let us be the heroes you always believe we could be?” 

Maki could feel Kaito shakily exhale. She kept talking. “There are complementary therapy sessions being offered to us, and so many of us are making use of them. I am. Shuichi is. Kaede is. Miu is. There isn’t anything to be scared of, or ashamed of. I just want you… to start taking what you had to go through seriously. I want you treat yourself the way you would a stranger you’ve decided to believe in.”

“This is… different than the killing game.” Kaito finally spoke, much to Maki’s relief. She was worried he was angry, or that she hurt him even worse somehow. “Back then, I didn’t have any solutions, or any options. I kinda just  _ had _ to suffer in silence.” 

“You didn’t have to suffer in silence,” Maki insisted. “Shuichi and I love you so much. You could have told us. We could have done something. I don’t know what exactly, but we would have done something.”

“Maki Roll…” Kaito murmured after a moment. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“Hey. Me too.” She had never meant anything more. “What was that dumb thing you told Shuichi and back in the game? About how we can be your super dog, or super cat, or super horse to help you be the hero?”

“You pretty much got it.” 

“I think you should let us actually be there, whenever you need a sidekick to help you…” Maki hadn’t forgotten how tired she was; Kaito’s arms were so comfortable. “Also, I just… don’t want to lose you again. I don’t think I  _ can _ lose you again. And I’m scared that I’m going to-”

“There’s no way I’d let something like that happen,” Kaito reassured. Maki made the decision to believe him. 

Kaito drifted off, and after a moment, spoke again. “Hey, when we get our house, out in the country… I want us to grow sunflowers.”

Maki smiled. “Why sunflowers?”

“They grow facing sunlight,” Kaito told her. “Something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.”

Maki nodded into his chest. Her first knitting project, she decided, would be a hand towel, or a tea cozy. For their house out in the country. It would be decorated with a sunflower pattern, or should it just be one big sunflower? She wasn’t sure which would be easier for a beginner. It would be her first real art project, the first time she got to create instead of destroy, and it didn’t have to turn out perfect to have value- it was Kaito who taught her that in the first place. (It would be literally made out of love. Kaito bought her the supplies, without her even having to ask him.) She couldn’t wait. He was going to like it so much.

“Thank you, Maki Roll,” Kaito said, breaking the silence that made Maki remember how sleepy she was. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

This would be the time where Maki would finally get to save him. Or help him save himself.

“Let’s get some sleep.” 


End file.
